Boss: You know the saying. When the cat is away, the rats dance.

Secretary: (just got off the phone) She's dealing with a medical emergency, she'll call right back.
Boss: She's do-?
Secretary: She's dealing with a medical emergency, give her a minute she'll call back.
Boss: She's pregnant?

I went to Germany for study abroad.

Boss: Where are you landing? Frankfurt? Hamburg?
Secretary: Frankfurt right?
Me: Kassel.
Boss: Hamburg.

Secretary: The Euro exchange rate keeps fluctuating.
Boss: The Peso?

Boss: Is this the last print-out?
Me: Yes.
Boss: God bless America.

Boss: How you spell "choose," c, h, o, u?

On trying to plan the content of a mass email.

Boss: We should tell them to fox us. Or email us.
Secretary: No one uses fax anymore.
Boss: What if they don't have an email?
Secretary: If they don't have an email they won't be receiving the mass email.

A business sent us an email that included their Skype ID.

Boss: What is this: "P.S. My S, k, y-"
Secretary: -Skype. That's their Skype ID.
Boss: "S, k, y, p, e"
Secretary: "Skype"
Boss: Oh, so their site.

I was drinking coffee and started coughing.

Secretary: You okay?
Me: Yeah, just swallowed coffee too quickly.
Boss: You didn't catch a cold did you?
Me: I swallowed my coffee too quickly.

Boss: How you spell "China"?
Secretary: C, h, i-
Boss: -n, e.

Secretary: You have to call Aspen.
Boss: Husband?

Secretary: I had Vietnamese last night.
Boss: You had meat??

One day my boss' secretary left early.

Boss: What are you doing when you leave?
Secretary: I have a nail appointment at 2, and then I'm going home to nap, then I'm gonna pick up my laundry, then I have to pack and head over to my friend's house.
Boss: With the laundry.

Boss: We once sold Oprah a tub for $150,000.
Me: Nice!
Boss: You don't know Oprah?
Me: She stays at my mom's hotel all the time.
Boss: You don't know Oprah??

Secretary: In Greece they're freezing pay and lowering pension payments.
Boss: Where is this happening?
Secretary: In Greece.
Boss: Increased?!

I got a call for someone named Ricardo.

Me: Is there a Ricardo downstairs?
Boss: Who?!? They want Vinny?

Boss: (about to make a phonecall) Who am I calling? Reeki? Or Keeki?
Secretary: Rich.

Boss: Use the 2nd (phone) line.
Me: I am.
Boss: Use the 2nd line.
Me: I know, I am.

Boss: Who did you say this is from?
Secretary: Saro Interiors. S, A, R, O.
Boss: Pascarro?

Boss: Send it to the frabicator.

Boss: They're just French Canarian.

Boss: Who was that on the phone?
Secretary: Petrucci.
Boss: Oh, Hershey?

Boss: How you getting to Canada? You drivin' or you flyin'?
Me: Flying.
Boss. Drivin'.

Boss: (on the phone) You're wrong. So stop thinking.

Boss: How you spell "join"?

Boss: How you spell "state"?

Boss: How you spell "fax"? Is it f, o, o, x?

Secretary: I have to go out and buy dividers.
Boss: But we have binders.
Secretary: Dividers.

Secretary: (about a marble slab) It's definitely orange. It looks like a creamsicle.
Boss: A cream...PICKLE?!

Boss: The plomber used to charge me $50.
Secretary: Who?!?!
Boss: The plomber.

Secretary: Kevin on line one.
Boss: (picks up) Hi Michael what can I do for you.


(names are changed)

Boss: Tell 'em we'll fox it over.

Boss: (on the phone) You sound like a slab. That's what you sound like.

Boss: Did Sam Ash call?
Secretary: ...Trevor. Ash. Sam Ash is a music store.

First week on the job. I am Ellen.

10:00AM
Boss: (to me) ...Helen can you print this out?

1:00PM
Boss: (to the secretary) What's her name?


(names are changed)